Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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