so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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