fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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