fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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