Michael Bay diarrhea
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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