Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
oh god the rape fog is back!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
