I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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