I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
