Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
