One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
honey bunches of taint.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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