Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
