I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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