Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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