i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
