she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
