It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
