Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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