I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
