I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
