even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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