Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
