Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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