Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
