Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize