Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
