I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize