And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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