Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
