I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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