somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
