when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
