if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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