4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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