it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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