Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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