i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
