Apparently you make a good broom.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
