there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
