Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize