i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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