Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
