Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
