I'm lost and stupid without you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
