Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You're a waste of cheezeits
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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