Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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