My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
