Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
