If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
