I'm really into asian looking animals
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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