If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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