Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
