Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
