Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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