I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it's like iHOP with fire
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
