i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
