I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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