Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
