i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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