am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
