I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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