Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
