32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
